Exclusive Story: It'll knock your socks off!

The Bourne Ultimatum will totally knock your socks off, that is.

Wow, what a great movie. There were fights and chases and crazy shit happening all over the place.

I was blown away!

Parody

According to wikipedia, parody is "a work that imitates another work in order to ridicule, ironically comment on, or poke some affectionate fun at the work itself, the subject of the work, the author or fictional voice of the parody, or another subject."

One should not expect truth from parody. For example, one would not look at an article from The Onion for the truth about current events. Thousands of people did not march on Washington for fresh air and exercise. The Yankees did not decline the Wild Card. A new heart device was not installed in Dick Cheney so that he may experience love. These things are jokes. They are for us to laugh at.

Furthermore, one can not necessarily infer anything about the feelings of the author (or authors) on the subject which they are parodying. As stated in the definition, parody can be used to "poke some affectionate fun" at something else. Certainly, when Saturday Night Live included several parodies of "Celebrity Jeopardy" it was not because they disliked the game show or the celebrities they lampooned, or thought that other game shows were better. They simply found an opportunity to create a humorous sketch which exaggerated the characteristics of the original. Likewise, the "Joe Pesci Show" sketches, which featured Joe Pesci beating up each of his guests were not actual depictions of what the writers of SNL felt about Pesci. It was merely a caricature of characters that Pesci has played.

Anything which is in the public eye is a potential source for parody. Politicians, elements of pop culture, bloggers, and even Wikipedia itself have all been the subject of parodies.

From the Uncyclopedia: "In contemporary usage, parody (otherwise known as a pisstake) is a form of satire that try to imitate another work of art in order to ridicule it but miserably fails. When the attempt to ridicule doesn't fail, it's called plagiarism. Parody exists in all art media, including literature, music, and cinema. It is notable for being significantly better than only one D."

Happy Int'l Day of Non-Violence

It's International Day of Non-Violence. Try not to kill anybody.

Councilman Writes Letter to Dealer

It starts off with the greeting, "Dear Piece of Trash" and it only gets better from there. See the original here.

Parallels

There was a leader in Chicago who many people want replaced. At the very best, one could say that he'd had more off days than on days. At the worst, one could say that he was an overrated, completely incompetent boob.

Many many people were clamoring for his removal and replacement. The problem was that none of the people available to replace him were all that good. Some had once shown some leadership potential, while others seemed like while they wouldn't let anything bad happen, they also wouldn't take charge and make any improvements (though, arguably, that could be better than the current situation).

When he re-won his job, some folks appeared to jump onto his bandwagon, saying "We know he's got problems, but he's better than the alternative. Just because I've criticized him in the past doesn't mean that I necessarily need to choose one of the other people up for the job. They're not necessarily going to be better."

Those folks got lambasted as being hypocrites and traitors. But I saw their point -- even though the leader in question was not doing the job well, it didn't mean that the other choices would do it any better.

On the other hand, some people want to see change for the sake of change. Tom Westgard feels that "it's a step forward to try a new option."

Well, those who want change are going to get it this weekend: Brian Griese is taking over the reins as quarterback of the Chicago Bears. It will be interesting to see if it's better, worse, or different at all. What I do know is that the Bears couldn't keep going the way they were going, and some change was definitely needed. Will it be enough?

Does this all sound very very familiar?

Tooting our Own Horns

We here at I Love Everything and Everyone aren't given to tooting our own horns very often, but this time we just couldn't resist as we have recently been honored by none other than Archie Gait's mother who has bestowed upon us her "Archie's Mom Loves This Site" seal of approval. As if that weren't enough, we've been ranked (using her incredibly precise, but impossible-to-understand rating system) as her number one, most favorite site on the entire internet.

How cool is that?

We promise not to let this go to our head. We'll still be bringing you the most hard hitting nonsense in the blogosphere.

Town Hall Meeting Gives Townspeople Chance To Say Stupid Things In Public

Town Hall Meeting Gives Townspeople Chance To Say Stupid Things In Public

NEW BEDFORD, MA—In a true display of democracy, a town hall meeting held at the New Bedford High School auditorium Monday gave the crowd of approximately 550 residents the opportunity to publicly voice every last one of the inane thoughts and concerns they would normally only have the chance to utter to themselves.

The Duck Says....

The duck says, "Eat me, I'm delicious!"

Broken Heart Looking for Love

From Found Magazine.

The Famous Blue Truck

Here's that stupid blue truck everyone's been following around -- parking illegally again in front of a red fire hydrant.

Curse you blue truck!

This is a possum

The possum says, "Meow!"

To whom it may concern:

To the jackass with the air horn running around Pratt & Newgard, blasting it at 11:30PM last night, you can run, but you can't hide. You may have been faster than me last night, but I'm in training, and I'm coming for you.

Teamist Idiots at Sun-Times

This latest evidence of the rampant teamism and stupidity over at the Chicago Sun-Times really pisses me off. Those morons have written an article titled "Another Day in the Coliseum" which details the White Sox loss to the Oakland Athletics yesterday in Oakland, California and mentions that the Sox are now 6-24 at the Oakland ballpark.

That might seem all well and good, but why don't those dips at that "newspaper" mention anything about the Cubs in the article? Have the Cubs never played at the Coliseum? What sort of records do the White Sox have at other ballparks, such as Shea Stadium? Who would win in a game between the Chicago White Sox and the Justice League of America, another team completely ignored by this one-sided, idiotic article.

Touché

A Puppy in a Garden?

Is it even possible?

You bet'cha it is!

A lovely couple

I didn't have a camera, so this artist's rendering will have to do.

Funny Chicago Times quote

"The cheek of every American must tingle with shame as he reads the silly, flat and dishwatery utterances of the man who has to be pointed out to intelligent foreigners as the President of the United States."

Giraffe

The giraffe says "moo."

A Year Without "Made in China"

A Year Without "Made in China" follows journalist Sara Bongiorni on her quest to keep her family free of Chinese-made products for one year. She humorously describes just how difficult it is to keep her husband, two children, and herself, fed, clothed, and entertained while avoiding anything made in China. I highly recommend this book for anyone who's considering going on a similar boycott, or for anyone who thinks it would be easy as pie.

Bloomberg news calls it, "a wry look at the ingenuity it takes to shun the planet's fastest-growing economy."

A crisis of cookware

We need less of this:

"Grr!"

and more of this: