The Duck Says....

The duck says, "Eat me, I'm delicious!"

Broken Heart Looking for Love

From Found Magazine.

The Famous Blue Truck

Here's that stupid blue truck everyone's been following around -- parking illegally again in front of a red fire hydrant.

Curse you blue truck!

This is a possum

The possum says, "Meow!"

To whom it may concern:

To the jackass with the air horn running around Pratt & Newgard, blasting it at 11:30PM last night, you can run, but you can't hide. You may have been faster than me last night, but I'm in training, and I'm coming for you.

Teamist Idiots at Sun-Times

This latest evidence of the rampant teamism and stupidity over at the Chicago Sun-Times really pisses me off. Those morons have written an article titled "Another Day in the Coliseum" which details the White Sox loss to the Oakland Athletics yesterday in Oakland, California and mentions that the Sox are now 6-24 at the Oakland ballpark.

That might seem all well and good, but why don't those dips at that "newspaper" mention anything about the Cubs in the article? Have the Cubs never played at the Coliseum? What sort of records do the White Sox have at other ballparks, such as Shea Stadium? Who would win in a game between the Chicago White Sox and the Justice League of America, another team completely ignored by this one-sided, idiotic article.

Touché

A Puppy in a Garden?

Is it even possible?

You bet'cha it is!

A lovely couple

I didn't have a camera, so this artist's rendering will have to do.

Funny Chicago Times quote

"The cheek of every American must tingle with shame as he reads the silly, flat and dishwatery utterances of the man who has to be pointed out to intelligent foreigners as the President of the United States."

Giraffe

The giraffe says "moo."

A Year Without "Made in China"

A Year Without "Made in China" follows journalist Sara Bongiorni on her quest to keep her family free of Chinese-made products for one year. She humorously describes just how difficult it is to keep her husband, two children, and herself, fed, clothed, and entertained while avoiding anything made in China. I highly recommend this book for anyone who's considering going on a similar boycott, or for anyone who thinks it would be easy as pie.

Bloomberg news calls it, "a wry look at the ingenuity it takes to shun the planet's fastest-growing economy."

A crisis of cookware

We need less of this:

"Grr!"

and more of this:

Rogers Pork

The pig says, "Oink oink!"

This is a puppy

Walking More Harmful Than Driving

Hat-tip to my buddy Dave for pointing this one out to me:

Walking does more than driving to cause global warming, a leading environmentalist has calculated.

Food production is now so energy-intensive that more carbon is emitted providing a person with enough calories to walk to the shops than a car would emit over the same distance. The climate could benefit if people avoided exercise, ate less and became couch potatoes. Provided, of course, they remembered to switch off the TV rather than leaving it on standby. Full story...

Kitty!

Robots in Disguise

I saw Transformers last night. What a cool movie!

People Who Don't Read Blogs are Ignorant and Apathetic

From RogersParkBench: "Those of you who read the blogs are seeking information. You are engaged, you wish to know what's going on. But of RPB's 500-600 daily readers, there remains approximately 60,000 residents of this pitiful two-square mile ward that don't know shit about what's happening right outside their front door."

We here at ILEAE agree wholeheartedly. Those (approximately) 60,000 people who don't read Rogers Park Bench every day are idiots. We've heard all the excuses and think they're all bullshit. They include:

• I don't have access to the internet.


• I'm only six months old.


• I'm 80 years old and don't know what the internet is.


• I write my own blog.


• I prefer to get my news from reputable sources that aren't permanently biased, factually inaccurate, and focused on personal vendettas.

These excuses are ridiculous and we suggest to those (approximately) 60,000 people that perhaps they'd be happier in a different Chicago neighborhood, because we don't need them here.

Study Shows That Tone of Voice Doesn't Always Come Across in Written Word

(That's a hell of a long title.)

A report has come out stating that often times, an author's intended tone fails to come across when it is written down, or posted to a blog. This may lead to readers misunderstanding the author's intent. Verbal cues, which are necessary when expressing such things as sarcasm or irony simply aren't present in the printed word.

For example: Were I to say "I love paying over $3.50 for a gallon of gas," you would immediately be able to tell that I was being sarcastic due to the inflection that I would place on the word "love." This inflection would indicate that I don't actually love paying that much money for a gallon of gas. While this can be difficult to relay in writing, there are many ways that it can be done.

1. Context




• Context can be a very helpful clue when it comes to sarcasm. For instance, if I wrote a paragraph all about how ridiculous it is that gas prices are so high, the current administration's inability to do anything about it, and the like, and then I said, "I just love paying over $3.50 for a gallon of gas," the reader would have some context with which to work. It is unlikely that a careful reader would be confused by an apparent change of feelings about gas prices.


• A danger with relying on context, however, is when an author often present contradictory viewpoints and widely varying stances. When the author is an indefatigable blowhard who is just as likely to enjoy paying an exorbitant sum for gas as he is to believe that gas prices are too high, then the message can be confusing and the reader might not come to the intended conclusions.




2. Text styling




• Another way of indicating sarcasm or irony is through proper uses of text styling. Combined with contextual clues, italic text can go a long way towards presenting the tone of voice that the author intends to use.


• For example, consider this sentence: "Having you in this neighborhood really makes life better for all of us." Now, look at it this way: "Having you in this neighborhood really makes life better for all of us." While this might be confusing without the proper context, when considered in its proper place, the italic text in this sentence will help readers dramatically.
  




3. Just come out and say it




• It works for Homer Simpson. "In case you couldn't tell, I was being sarcastic."

Hopefully, these tips will help you when trying to get a point across to a reader. Remember: tone of voice is very important when it comes to conveying the fact that what you are saying is not exactly what you mean. Also remember that tone of voice is difficult to express in the written word, especially with readers who may not know you or your sense of humor. By no means should you insult or blame your readers if they don't follow -- it's most likely your fault as opposed to theirs.