Which Team Will You Join?

'European Heritage' means 'White Team', right? (from gop.com)

A Hat-Tip, Horn Toot and Back Pat

Big hat-tip over to Craig at The 'Broken Heart' of Rogers Park for this hat-tip which links back to this article. We're all connected, but really, the only way you'll know anything about anything that's going on in the world is by reading blogs which point you at articles on other blogs.

And here's another hat-tip: when wearing a nice hat (such as a Fedora) do not remove it by the crown. Rather, you should use both hands on the brim to remove the hat. Removing it by the crown will cause the crown to become misshapen.

Literal Response -- The Way to Go!

If there's anything I hate more than figurative language, I don't know what it is. Figurative language is like a knife jammed into my skull, twisting around as it mixes up the vital gray matter contained within. People should only speak literally, without exaggeration, without metaphor or color.

That's why when someone says something, the best response is to take their comment completely literally and turn it right back on them.

For instance, say I've been talking about how much I love fish. I keep going on and on about how great fish are as pets and as dinner entrees. I love fish fish fish.

Then someone says something like, "Oh man, that guy loves bass so much, if he ate any more of it, he'd turn into one!"

That would get my goat. That would fry my chaps. That would raise my dander. My only choice would be to reply, "Hey! I've never said a damn thing about bass. Look through any comment I've ever made and you'll see not one thing about bass. You are incorrect, you jackass!"

That's what I would say.

Some might say that to do so would be ignoring the meat of the message; that a response of that nature would do nothing to further the debate (such as it was). Some might even call me deliberately obtuse or nitpicky or overly literal. Well all of those people can burn in hell. That's right. I said it. And that's all I have to say about that. If someone wants to add to a debate with me, they damn well better be as literal as a value, as opposed to an identifier, written into the source code of a computer program.

Report: Most Blogs Written by Same Person

Came across an interesting study today that will potentially threaten Rogers Park's status as the "5th bloggiest neighborhood." It turns out that most blogs in the area (not including this one, however) are written by the same person.

This so-called "Blog Czar" (pictured at left) has been writing most of the Rogers Park-related blogs that you and I are familiar with. He has used many names and worn many faces, but this exclusive ILEAE photo reveals his true appearance.

Rogers Park blogs he is responsible for include: The 'Broken Heart' of Rogers Park; Rogers Park Neighbor; Rogers Park Forever; Rogers Park Rake; And That's My Opinion; David Fagus's blog; The North Coast; The Trash Detective; and The Living Room in Rogers Park.

Experts also suspect that he is behind many other blogs that have little or nothing to do with Rogers Park. The Blog Czar allegedly writes: Hot Dog Fingers; Landscape Design; Queelin Guy; and Maxdon: A Guide to So-So Parenting.

The report has caused cries of horror, surprise, and apathy (amongst others) throughout the blogosphere which is unlikely to ever be the same.

The Sweet Smell of Reconciliation

As Rebecca said in the comment section, this is the home of love and so how could I pass this up?

It appears that two local bloggers who have long been at each other's throats are making positive steps towards reconciliation. In the comment section of a recent post on Tom Westgard's Rogers Park Rake, Craig Gernhardt (of The 'Broken Heart' of Rogers Park) said, "Hey Tommy boy...you wan[t] to come down to Tennessee this weekend[?]"

Westgard has yet to publicly respond to this touching invitation.

No word yet on whether Gernhardt planned on paying Westgard's expenses, nor whether a similar invitation was extended to Tom Mannis (Rogers Park Bench.)

Must Read Report about a Must Read Report

According to Tom Mannis over at Rogers Park Bench, Craig Gernhardt at The 'Broken Heart' of Rogers Park has written a report that is a must-read!

According to Mannis, Gernhardt's report is "stunning" and contains words such as "allegedly" and "company".

FULL REPORT...

Officials Say Blog Titles Running Low

It seems that the nation's 5th bloggiest 'nabe' is causing problems on a worldwide scale by using up a nonrenewable natural resource. No, it's not coal or oil -- it's blog names.

Representatives from blogger.com, hosts of over 3.5 million blogs (short for 'weblogs') say that they are running low on site names on their blogspot.com hosting server.

"Just last week, someone took three more names, bringing us down to a scant 43 names left," said Sally Dupree, spokesperson for the site. "If this keeps up, there won't be anything left."

She added, "Many of the blogs aren't even real blogs but just point to other blogs."

Dupree refused to comment on which names remained out of concerns that the final possible names would all be taken by one person. Some bloggers have as many as six blogs on the blogspot site.

Related: Report: Only 7 Band Names Remaining

We Are All Gonna Die

US scientists discover new, incredibly insanely lethally deadly bacteria

In a dramatic case of microbial sleuthing, US scientists said they have discovered a new, ludicrously deadly strain of bacteria previously unknown to medicine.


The bacteria was found in a 43-year-old American woman who had traveled across Peru for three weeks and suffered from symptoms similar to typhoid fever or malaria. The woman has since died in a manner so excruciatingly painful that not even the shlocky shock news reporters at Yahoo dared to describe it. Read More...