Athlete Does the Unthinkable

Wes Cavalier, local athlete, has recently participated in several activities involving competition and physical exertion. This stinks of athletics.

Whoopsie!

Well, even the best of us make mistakes once in a while. It turns out that I was misinformed about Chris Adams. It turns out that he's not a wrestler; he did not invent the flying superkick; he did not train "Stone Cold" Steve Austin; and most importantly (thank God!) he is not dead.

It turns out that Chris Adams is actually a cricketer from England! I mistakenly read and posted a link to the wrong article. This is the appropriate article.

While I am very relieved to hear that Mr. Adams is not dead and that he has had an incredible career, scoring over 15,000 runs over nearly 20 years, I am a bit disturbed to find out that he doesn't even live in the United States, much less Chicago or Rogers Park. While we are all the same underneath our skin and we all have the same human needs and desires, there are issues and problems here in Rogers Park that are specific and unique. I think that at the very least, Mr. Adams should 'cross the pond' (as the Brits say) and spend some time in our neighborhood before he is qualified to represent us.

Another Wrestler in Office?

I don't know how to lead into this, so I'm just going to come right out and say it: Chris Adams is a former professional wrestler and is actually deceased. Shocking, huh? Don't believe it? Well, Read this.

The article lays out his entire career from his humble beginnings in the late 1970s to his time on the tag-team "The Dynamic Duo" to drug problems and eventual death, shot in the chest by a former roommate.

He was the winner of 11 different championship titles and the inventor of many important signature moves, such as the flying superkick. He also is known for having trained wrestlers Scott Hall and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.

R.I.P. Gentleman Christopher Adams. You are missed.

Startling Revelations

I don't want to alarm anyone, but over the next couple days, I am going to reveal some things about the 49th ward aldermanic candidates that are going to blow your minds. Nothing is going to be the same.

Hang on and find a chair. You'll want to be sitting down for this.

More Words...

Lately, I've been helping you out with words that don't need hyphens. Here are some more:

• unethical
• immoral
• idiotic
• hypocrite
• moronic
• vapid
• corrupt
• egomaniac
• megalomaniac
• confused
• unfocused
• unwarranted
• unjustified
• prejudiced
  

And lest you think I don't want you to have any fun with hyphens, here are some words that do need them:

• self-serving
• self-loathing
• hare-brained
• feeble-minded

Interesting Candidates

If you think our candidates are weird, just check out Michael Goodspaceguy Nelson and Mike the Mover, both Democratic candidates in Washington's primary election next Tuesday. Here's their info.

Wasted Hyphens (UPDATED AGAIN)

I'd like to talk about an issue that concerns us all: the unnecessary use of hyphens in the world. Hyphens are not an unlimited resource. Once we use them all up, there will be no more and we will have to turn to other punctuation marks to replace them.

I'd like to ask you to do your part to save the hyphens. I'm hoping that with voluntary compliance, I won't have to legislate against excessive hyphen usage once I'm in office.

To help you out, here are several examples of words that don't need hyphenation:

• within
• without
• turnout
• hoopla
• checkup
• upcoming
• reelection
• reestablish
• renewal
• handmade
• outside
• naysayer
• untrustworthy
• anticlimactic
• ad hoc
• makeup
• unguarded
• unofficial
• unknown
• uninformed
• unaccountable
• stakeout
• northeast
• southeast
• handcuffs
• sidekick
• prepaid
• nonunion
• war chest
• coordinator
• coworkers
• cosponsor
• outdated
• throughout
• lookouts
• outlook
• onlooker
• wherever
• partygoers
• overflowing
• overabundant
• homeowner
• after all
• jackass

And this is just a partial list. There are many, many more words that don't require the use of a hyphen. Hopefully this will get you started as you begin your own quest for the conservation of this very important and very limited natural resource.

Updated

• misinformation
• whereas
• foresee
• unattended
• unquote
• uncovered
• untreated
• unloading
• unhealthy
• unexpected
• unmanned
• unauthorizezd
• iPod
• subcontractor
• in between
• online
• reopening
• pigskin
• leftovers
• minivan
• ongoing
• website
• granddaddy
• update
• keepsake
• antisocial
• midday
• overall
• pinpoint
• rejoin
• moonlighting
• makeover
• dugout
• outcome
• weekend

Updated Again

• uncharted
• backtrack
• fanfare
• dimwits
• permitless
• nonprofit
• hotbed
• heavyweight
• lowdown
• meanwhile
• downtrodden
• eyeglasses
• prewarn (which is just about the dumbest word ever -- why not just warn someone?)
• kickoff
• unanswered
• fundraiser
• infomercial
• PayPal
• eBay
• bypasses
• fenceless
• roughshod
• unsupervised
• unedited
• backyard
• withstood
• previewing
• unsanctioned
• uncovered

Joe Moore takes a page from my book.

So it's been a while since I've posted here, mostly because my advisors have been screening everything I've written and have found it to be too potty-mouthed to publish. "It's not Aldermanic," they say. "We can't print this." But that's all changed now.

According to Craig G., bloglord of 'The "Broken Heart" of Rogers Park' Blog, Grill and Nightclub, 49th Ward Alderman Joe Moore told him to fuck himself 'after a brief verbal exchange.' One can only imagine what that brief verbal exchange consisted of, and I for one would be curious to know.

Regardless of what caused Alderman Moore's outburst, I find it refreshing and uplifting.

Back when I announced my candidacy for Alderman I stated that I had been considering three options. The first was a peaceful contemplation of the beauty and wonder that surrounds me every day. The second was telling everyone to fuck off and die. The third was running for alderman. I chose the third one thinking that it precluded the first two.

Thanks to Alderman Moore, I now know I was wrong. These things do not have to be mutually exclusive. These things can be aldermanic.

So, I have told my advisors to go fuck themselves. I'll post what I want and when I want and sensitivity can be damned.

Welcome to the new Archie Gait campaign:

Archie Gait '07: Fuck Off!