It's all a right-wing conspiracy hoax, people. They would have you believe that the aliens dropped cicada eggs into the soil 17 years ago in order to have them hatch this week. It's all a scare tactic -- they're trying to keep you inside and afraid while they go out and dance around like Kathy Bates on a 2-week Twinkie bender. Don't believe their bullshit. The bugs aren't coming, and the aliens don't exist.
Meanwhile, it's going to be 87 fucking degrees today. Can anyone say global warming? I know I can.
GLOBAL FUCKING WARMING.
It's true! I can't help it!
